You’ve probably heard that communication is essential in any marriage before. It’s one of those things that gets said so frequently that it also turns into a cliche; like many cliches, it gets uttered so frequently because it’s true.
According to experts, the majority of marriages succeed or fail based on the husband and wife’s ability to reason through issues.
When you learn how to talk to your wife, you and your wife will understand one another better as a result of your improved communication skills, making it simpler to settle disputes and defuse tense situations.
I hope you will find the communication advice in this article to be useful.
Table of Contents
How To Talk To Your Wife?
1. Learn To Listen
We constantly hear our partners talking, but how often do we actually pay attention? Listening and hearing are very different from one another.
You’re not listening if you catch yourself daydreaming, choking back rage at what your wife is saying, or preparing your response the moment you see an opening.
The first tip to improve communication with your wife is to learn to listen to what your wife says. Pay close attention to the ideas and emotions she’s conveying through her words and nonverbal cues.
Active listening will help you learn how to be more patient with those around you as well as improve your relationship with your wife.
2. Set Up A Time Out System
When speaking with your wife, you don’t have to keep talking until you come to an agreement or start fighting.
For better communication with the wife, be mindful of how you’re feeling during a discussion, and ask your wife to do the same.
Choose a word or short phrase that both of you can use to stop, take a break, call a timeout, or “cool off” if you feel the need.”
Use your time-out phrase and take a break until you feel calm once more if either of you is feeling irritated, on the verge of yelling, or about to say something hurtful.
3. Mind The Words You Choose
Whoever said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” either had very thick skin or had never been the target of a hurtful rant.
The words you use to make a difference – and once said, can never be unsaid or unheard.
When speaking to your wife, pay close attention to the words you use.
If you’re about to say something, consider whether it will help you make your point and advance the conversation or if it will only aggravate or hurt people. It might be appropriate to use that time-out phrase if the latter is the case.
4. Ask If It Really Needs To Be Said
Any marriage needs to be open and honest, but that doesn’t mean you have to express everything that comes to mind. Good communication requires discretion.
Hold your tongue if what you want to say is the result of frustration, rage, or the desire to vent. Find another outlet, like journaling, hitting a pillow, or engaging in a strenuous game of sports.
5. Check You’ve Understood What You Heard
If you’re unsure that you understood what your wife just said to you, take a moment to have her repeat it.
Use this easy mirroring technique: Say, “So what you’re saying is …” after she has finished speaking.” and repeat what she said in your own words. She can then provide additional clarification, and you have the chance to confirm that you understand.
Try asking follow-up questions such as “how does that make you feel?” or “what would help resolve this situation for you?” Everyone finds comfort in being heard and having their opinions validated, and this fosters mutual understanding.
6. Put Yourself In Her Shoes
Ask your wife how she might feel about what she is telling you. Consider her response. Of course, as was previously mentioned, your wife is the best person to ask about that, but it can also be helpful to put yourself in her position.
Focus on the situation and your wife’s reaction for a few minutes. Imagine how it would feel if you were in her shoes right now. You’ll be able to communicate more effectively for the rest of your marriage if you learn to be empathic.
Trust her frustration, even if you are unable to understand her perspective because perhaps she has good reasons for what she is saying. Even if you can’t understand her viewpoint, respect it.
7. Try A Different Approach
Everybody speaks in their own way. Try a different tactic if your wife can’t understand you or if you can’t understand her. Use an illustration or analogy, or attempt a different method of explanation.
You can even try writing your feelings down in a letter or drawing a diagram or flowchart. Even though it sounds absurd, it can actually be effective, especially when you simply cannot agree on anything. To the same end, exhort your wife.
You’ll be better prepared for life and your marriage will endure and flourish if you learn how to communicate with your wife.
You might be surprised at how quickly your relationship changes if you start working on better communication right away.
8. Never Yell
Most of the time, screaming rarely works. It only serves to aggravate and hurt an already tense situation. It’s time to step back and collect yourself if you really can’t control your urge to scream before trying again.
Even when you’re angry, try to communicate with kindness and calm. If you can’t be affectionate right now, try to be at least polite and considerate. You don’t need to convince your wife of your viewpoint because she isn’t your adversary.
Conversation Topics With Your Life
1. Feelings
It’s crucial to consistently be open and honest about your emotions. This might be challenging. When someone asks you to express your feelings, there may occasionally be pressure on you because they want you to feel a certain way. She feels hurt and let down when you don’t respond how she wants you to. As a result, we feel that we cannot be truthful. Make sure your marriage is a place where you feel free to express yourself and ask questions frequently. You are also a part of that. If my wife is unhappy, I’m unhappy, and when she expresses her unhappiness, I can become irritated. Her capacity to share is blocked by it. Avoid the same error I did.
Related Reading: How to Make Wife Happy?
2. Friends
Relationships hold the secret to a successful life. When there is a gap or tension in a relationship, everything feels off and draining. For women, in my opinion, this is particularly true. Take an interest in her friendships and how they are developing. Even though she has you, she will need female friends to connect with otherwise she will feel lonely. Be a source of inspiration.
3. Finances
Money is a frequent cause of divorce between couples. Ignoring it and wishing for the best is much simpler. Unfortunately, “the best” in terms of money rarely succeeds without effort and initiative. To reach and maintain the agreement, there will need to be numerous, frequently uncomfortable discussions.
4. Fears
Our decisions and actions are affected by the way that fears have a way of controlling our hearts. The power of our fears is diminished when we can name them and bring them into the open. Discuss her fears and yours in a direct manner.
5. Family
This is probably where the majority of your conversation naturally centers, specifically on the kids. The focus of your conversations, however, should shift from your children’s schedules, grades, and activities to how they are developing. Discuss each child’s progress in terms of their mental, emotional, and spiritual development. Determine their needs and how you plan to meet them. Talk about your family’s goals and where you are at with them as well.
6. Fun
More than at any other time in our lives, our time, energy, and resources are all in high demand. Individually and as a couple, that kind of demand puts a lot of strain on both of you. Do not take this journey too seriously and forget to enjoy yourselves. Focus on making the experience as enjoyable as possible. To relieve stress, you need to take some time to laugh.
Communication Tips
- Make the decision to bring it about. It requires cooperation from both of you in order to succeed. (Discuss how you can make this work with your spouse after having them read this article after you have, or after reading it together.)
If you forget one day, don’t panic; just figure out a way to remind each other of the reasons you want to be intentional about this talk ritual. You could even give a small prize to the person who initiates it and brings it up first. - No distractions. No television, kids, cell phones, etc. If there are interruptions, be patient, but make an effort to minimize them. Avoid stopping to chat with every neighbor you pass while out for a walk. Just be clear that you two are having a pleasant conversation and that you don’t have time to stop and chat.
- Keep it positive. Talk ritual time is not the time to broach contentious subjects, vent, or bring up things you wish were different in the relationship. This is a time for bonding, only as friends and companions. Finding topics to discuss may be challenging at first, but with practice, you’ll get better. Consider your day and share any reflections, amusing tales, or encouraging events that occurred. You’ve got this.